Tooth Fairy Chronicles: Vol. IV


Ahhh, summer.  It would be redundant of me to preach how and why summer is such an appealing time of the year, as I’m sure we’d all agree, but I think I will anyway.  Beautiful weather that I can tan my wingtips in, the surplus of sugary frozen treats kids out of school will over-consume giving me plenty of work to do, and one of my favorite pastimes, grilling.  Yet, there is one reason above all I am excited for the next three months, and that is summer movies. 

I have not always been a fan of the cinema, as in the past many works of film fiction have depicted my likeness in an unfavorable manner, leading many to believe these erroneous images to be true.  For example, I am not a girl.  Very few movies have gotten this right, save classics such as the Santa Claus 2, where they correctly identified my struggle to change my name to “The Molinator,” as I would no longer like it assumed that I am without a Y chromosome.  Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson also starred in a biopic loosely based off me fittingly called “Tooth Fairy,” and I must say the role was perfectly cast; his build is quite similar to mine.  Some films such as “Darkness Falls” have even gone so far as to make a monster out of me which also couldn’t be further from the truth.  I am a peaceful entity who enjoys smiling, working, and cheeseburgers.

Despite these shortcomings of Hollywood, I’ve been able to grit my teeth and get myself to the theaters in the recent past.  Summer movies have improved in the last couple of years, producing quality blockbuster films instead of creating sensationalized works of plaque designed only to suck audiences in and send them home sad.  Also, according to Dr. Ross Penland and my friends at Growing Smiles, Hollywood actors and actresses have the best smiles in America, including Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts, so naturally I have a certain amount of respect for them.  Films for summer 2012 have already been impressive and we’re only in the second week of June.  “The Avengers,” which is still in theaters, has already become the third highest grossing film of all time and with its genius blend of action, humor, and a star-studded cast playing some of the most iconic superheroes, I would not be surprised if it took over the all-time top spot.  I could go on and on but I’ve really got to get my work done now if I want to catch the midnight showing of “Prometheus.”  Instead I will provide a quick list of my “Top 5 Summer Movies I Will Most Likely See Twice.” 

  1.  The Dark Knight Rises
  2. Prometheus
  3. The Amazing Spider-Man
  4. The Avengers
  5. Snow White and the Huntsman

This is the Tooth Fairy’s 1st year with the Crawdads.  Although he works nonstop, around the clock for most of the year, in his free time he enjoys baking, eating, and throwing pies, playing NBA Jam, and flossing.

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